Kids say the darndest things!

"You can only try to think of an idea for so long before you must say there is a lack of one."

- S, age 14

Let there be bass

In the beginning there was a bass. It was a Fender, probably a Precision, but it could have been a Jazz - nobody knows. Anyway, it was very old ... definitely pre-C.B.S.

And God looked down upon it and saw that it was good. He saw that it was very good in fact, and couldn't be improved on at all (though men would later try.) And so He let it be and He created a man to play the bass.

And lo the man looked upon the bass, which was a beautiful 'sunburst', and he loved it. He played upon the open E string and the note rang through the earth and reverberated throughout the firmaments (thus reverb came to be.) And it was good. And God heard that it was good and He smiled at his handiwork.

Then in the course of time, the man came to slap upon the bass. And lo it was funky.

And God heard this funkiness and He said, "Go man, go." And it was good.

And more time passed, and, having little else to do, the man came to practice upon the bass. And lo, the man came to have upon him a great set of chops. And he did play faster and faster until the notes rippled like a breeze through the heavens.

And God heard this sound which sounded something like the wind, which He had created earlier. It also sounded something like the movement of furniture, which He hadn't even created yet, and He was not so pleased. And He spoke to the man, saying "Don't do that!"

Now the man heard the voice of God, but he was so excited about his new ability that he slapped upon the bass a blizzard of funky notes. And the heavens shook with the sound, and the Angels ran about in confusion. (Some of the Angels started to dance, but that's another story.)

And God heard this - how could He miss it - and lo He became Bugged. And He spoke to the man, and He said, "Listen man, if I wanted Jimi Hendrix I would have created the guitar. Stick to the bass parts."

And the man heard the voice of God, and he knew not to mess with it. But now he had upon him a passion for playing fast and high. The man took the frets off of the bass which God had created. And the man did slide his fingers upon the fretless fingerboard and play melodies high upon the neck. And, in his excitement, the man did forget the commandment of the Lord, and he played a frenzy of high melodies and blindingly fast licks. And the heavens rocked with the assault and the earth shook, rattled and rolled.

Now God's wrath was great. And His voice was thunder as He spoke to the man.

And He said, "O.K. for you, pal. You have not heeded My word. Lo, I shall create a soprano saxophone and it shall play higher than you can even think of."

"And from out of the chaos I shall bring forth the drums. And they shall play so many notes thine head shall ache, and I shall make you to always stand next to the drummer."

"You think you're loud? I shall create a stack of Marshall guitar amps to make thine ears bleed. And I shall send down upon the earth other instruments, and lo, they shall all be able to play higher and faster than the bass."

"And for all the days of man, your curse shall be this; that all the other musicians shall look to you, the bass player, for the low notes. And if you play too high or fast all the other musicians shall say "Wow" but really they shall hate it. And they shall tell you you're ready for your solo career, and find other bass players for their bands. And for all your days if you want to play your fancy licks you shall have to sneak them in like a thief in the night."

"And if you finally do get to play a solo, everyone shall leave the bandstand and go to the bar for a drink."

And it was so.

- Unknown

.

O-H!

I-Ow!!!


CHOMP!

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy: What would you do if you had a pet elephant?

C: Leave it outside.

- C, age five

.

Sister Moon...

"My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun.
My hunger for her explains everything I've done.
To howl at the moon the whole night through...
and they really don't care if I do.
I'd go out of my mind but for you."

- from Sister Moon, Sting

Rainmaker

Have you ever seen a miracle - you couldn't doubt or imitate?
What's it really worth to you to shake the holy hand of fate?
Well I did what I could to make ends meet
Been a gunrunner and a medicine man.
In a Kansas town I was a rainmaker - there the hand of fate got out of hand.

Rainmaker Rainmaker save this one horse town
Rainmaker pray to heaven!

From the Flint Hills the land was cracked and dried
Thirsty streets in misery
I took the sign down that said medicine man
Put one up that said rainmaker - that was me.
So the townspeople gave me money up front
To light a fire - pray, and dance around.
Tell them it'd rain so they'd all go to bed
And I'd make my break clean out of town.
But I started this dance and a storm kicked up
The sky went black from coast to coast.
It was too late to stop - it was to late to pray
I had summoned down the Holy Ghost.
Oh the searing wind and the clouds of dust
And hell came raining down!
What came out of me and the powers that be
Was the last of that one horse town!

- Kansas, In the Spirit of Things

Kids say the darndest things!

C, getting ready to go to school with Dad on a cold December day:

"Look, Daddy. You have gloves on. That means you have five fingers. I have mittens on. That means I have one thumb and a whole pack of fingers."

- C (age five)

The worm turns...

"Potentially, the techniques could one day be adapted for human use, with doctors perhaps being able to offer parents pre-natal tests to determine the likely sexuality of offspring or a hormonal treatment to change the orientation of a child.

Roselli has said he would be “uncomfortable” about parents choosing sexuality, but argues that it is up to policy makers to legislate on questions of ethics."

Article: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-2524408,00.html

It seems that the same guys for the "right" of people to have an abortion are against the idea of parents choosing the sexuality of their child. Looks like this one hit a little close to home.

Xan Shui,
Philosophic Phanthropist, Honest Man

Political Leanings

Got into a great discussion the other day on politics, so decided to just state what I believe about life, the universe, and everything:

- God exists and created the universe.
- All human beings are animals and we have all evolved from other life forms just like every other animal. And this has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not there is a God.
- Guns aren't evil. Machine guns, however, are overkill and should be illegal.
- Life is beautiful and we don't have the right to take it away (even from criminals or unborn babies) for any reason.
- Pregnancy is a CHOICE. If the mother's life is in danger because of a child she carries then we should allow it to get close enough to term to save it.
- Government in the U.S. is too big, costs too much and knows way too much about me.
- The greatest thing we can do for world peace is to create a strong middle class all over the world.
- People should be required to take responsibility for their lives. People should have to give something back to society (work in some way) for what they want and need.
- Once people have earned something it should remain theirs.
- We need to improve our educational system in order to compete with other countries.
- Wars are too expensive. Our military should only be used to take countries who threaten us down and not to rebuild them. The U.N.'s should own rebuilding them if needed.
- The left is demonizing President Bush as unfairly as the right demonized Bill Clinton.
- There are too many people in this world not to use birth control.
- People have the right to be gay but marriage is a religious tradition that we shouldn't alter to handle homosexuality any more than we should alter it to handle more than two partners.
- The health and tax benefits associated with married people should be available to any two adult people living together (whether they're fucking each other or not) and all their dependents living with them.
- The U.S. tax code is too complex and should be simplified. We should tax consumption not wealth.
- In a sexual relationship, in is unfair to require monogomy from your partner without taking responsibility for the sexual happiness of that partner.
- Americans are in for a very rude awakening when India and China get their economies moving. However, we're in a better position to recover from losing our dominate status in the world than Europe. Africa will be pulled out of the third-world by China and India.
- In 2050 radical Islam will have about as much influence as the KKK.
- Any given woman and man are not equal in terms of their capabilities - but neither are any two given men or any two women.
- Buffalo chicken wings from BW-3 are the single greatest cullinary achievement the world has ever known.

That's it for now!

Saddamned

So I understand that he was evil. And I understand he was a threat to not just his own people. I understand that he was convicted of killing about 150 people and i'm more than 150% sure that there was much more beyond that. His children were child-raping animals and he let it be that way. I understand that if we hadn't intervened he and his own would still be raping children and causing unrest in the region and I believe that we thought we needed to do what we did when we did it - not just because Bush says so, but because the legislature overwhelmingly supported it.

He wasn't human - he was an animal who truly deserved death. But, in the end, honestly, we became less human for giving it to him. Not only that, we gave him the honor his pathetic sons did not have.

But I guess such is our lot in the shadow of tyrants; victims too.

Xan Shui
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

Dead.

My Way News - Iraqi TV Says Saddam Hussein Executed: "It was a grim end for the 69-year-old leader"

We're no better.

Xan Shui
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

In the news...

BREITBART.COM - Final Plans Made for Saddam's Execution: "'The Americans want him to be hanged respectfully,' al-Nueimi said. If Saddam is humiliated publicly or his corpse ill-treated 'that could cause an uprising and the Americans would be blamed,' he said."

So we'll execute someone for executing people...BRILLIANT!

Xan Shui,
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honst Man

Alembic

Main Entry: alem·bic
Pronunciation: &-'lem-bik
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French & Medieval Latin; Middle French alambic & Medieval Latin alembicum, from Arabic al-anbIq, from al the + anbIq still, from Late Greek ambik-, ambix alembic, from Greek, cap of a still
1 : an apparatus used in distillation
2 : something that refines or transmutes as if by distillation (philosophy...filtered through the alembic of Plato's mind -- B. T. Shropshire)

The mind's alembic...

Ideal Beauty

"Ideal beauty is not the mind's creation: it is real beauty, refined and purified in the mind's alembic, from the alloy which always more or less accompanies it in our mixed and imperfect nature. But still the gold exists in a very ample degree. To expect too much is a disease in the expectant, for which human nature is not responsible; and, in the common name of humanity, I protest against these false and mischievous ravings. To rail against humanity for not being abstract perfection, and against human love for not realising all the splendid visions of the poets of chivalry, is to rail at the summer for not being all sunshine, and at the rose for not being always in bloom." . . . .
"But to make ideal beauty the shadow in the water, and, like the dog in the fable, to throw away the substance in catching at the shadow, is scarcely the characteristic of wisdom, whatever it may be of genius."

---Mr Hilary, in Nightmare Abbey, Chap. XI.

Kids say the darndest things!

C, helping us decorate our Christmas tree, holding up a perfectly spherical ornament with a white ribbon tie hanging over its side:

"Daddy, can I help with the bombs?"

- C, age five

2nd highest victory margin in history...

Yes.

What was that huge sighing sound?

My Way - Sports News: "Southern California and Michigan will meet New Year's Day in the granddaddy of 'em all, with each playing in the game for the third time in four years."

Let the record show that Lloyd Carr's job was saved by one one-hundredth of a BCS point!

Xan Shui,
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

Perfect.

SI.com - NCAA Football - Ohio St., Michigan�stay 1-2 in BCS standings - Sunday November 19, 2006 4:41PM: "The No. 1 Buckeyes locked up a spot in the BCS title game Jan. 8 in Arizona with their victory over the Wolverines on Saturday, their 19th straight overall. They also became the first team to have a perfect score of 1.000 under the BCS formula introduced in 2004. Ohio State is a unanimous No. 1 in all the polls and the best team in the country according to the BCS computer ratings."

Probably the only thing in the world that can save Saddam.

BREITBART.COM - Iran Calls for Saddam to Be Executed: "Iran called on Iraq Tuesday to carry out its death sentence on Saddam Hussein, saying the former dictator who waged an eight-year war against Iran in the 1980s was a criminal who deserved to die."

In the news: An eye for an eye?

Vatican says 'don't hang Saddam' | NEWS.com.au: "'For me, punishing a crime with another crime – which is what killing for vindication is – would mean that we are still at the point of demanding an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth,' he said.

'Unfortunately, Iraq is one of the few countries that have not yet made the civilised choice of abolishing the death penalty,' said Cardinal Martino, effectively the Pope's justice minister."

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy: "Is it yummy in your tummy?"

C: "No. It's yummy in my head."

- C (age five)

.

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, can you see your own eyes?"

- C (age five)

.

Those crazy Japanese!

My Way News: "TOKYO (Reuters) - Police are looking for a robber who held up a noodle bar in western Japan then paid for his meal and waited for his change before making off."

Read the story, and then ask yourself: Whose the crazy one - the waitress or the robber?

Kids say the darndest things!

"Little kids are magic, except for everyone else but me."

- C (age five)

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "Daddy, my throat hurts and my head hurts and my fingers hurt."

Daddy: "Really? Oh my goodness I don't know what we're going to do with you!"

C: "Umm, take care of me?"

- C (age five)

.

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy: "Wow, look outside. It's raining it's brains out today."

C (after looking out the window for some time): "Daaaad, rain doesn't have any brains."

- C (age five)

.

Heavy cloud but...

...no rain.

The sun won't shine 'til the clouds have gone.
The clouds won't go 'til their work is done.
Every morning you'll hear me pray,
'If only it would rain today'.

- Sting
Heavy Cloud, No Rain

.

In the news...Execution

Florida executes "Ripper" who terrorized campus: "The macabre murders began August 24, when Rolling broke into the apartment of 17-year-old university freshmen Sonja Larson and Christina Powell. They were found mutilated and stabbed to death. He had raped both women, one after she was dead. "

Did he deserve it? Probably. Should we have done it? No! Death solves nothing.

Xan Shui,
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy: "Holy shit!"

C (age five): "What does "holy" mean?"

.

The world less traveled...

Welcome to Info-Scape, EAI Consulting with a Difference!

A sad little epitaph to a man who lived in a fantasy world of encoded purity. To Bruce.

Martin, maintain the site please.

"(c) 2000,2001,2002,2003,2004,2005 Copyright Info-Scape Ltd., All rights reserved"

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, what happens if there is no God anywhere?"

- C (age 5)

.

The only way to stop this...

My Way - News - News Home: "A milk-truck driver carrying three guns and a childhood grudge stormed a one-room Amish schoolhouse Monday, sent the boys and adults outside, barricaded the doors with two-by-fours, and then opened fire on a dozen girls, killing three people before committing suicide."

The only way to stop this is to stop publicizing it when it happens. When you have nothing to lose, then fame is free.

Xan Shui,
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

There is no such thing as safety.

My Way News - Milk Driver Kills 3 at Amish Schoolhouse: "A milk-truck driver carrying three guns and a childhood grudge stormed a one-room Amish schoolhouse Monday"

Effortless.

"In much the same way they did at Texas three weeks ago, the Buckeyes made their 38-17 victory over No. 13 Iowa look so effortless they might as well have been playing it in a library."

Sports Illustrated Online

Life Conclusions

Nothing angers a woman so much as showing her how womanly she is.

Xan Shui,
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, my name needs a 'w'."

- Chloe (age five)

Times employee arrested in sting�-�Metropolitan�-�The Washington Times, America's Newspaper

Times employee arrested in sting�-�Metropolitan�-�The Washington Times, America's Newspaper: "Randall Casseday, 53, was arrested at 9:45 p.m. yesterday in the 1300 block of Brentwood Road NE, where police said he had arranged to meet who he thought was a 13-year-old girl. "

What is it about conservatives and kids?

Those crazy Thais!

My Way News: "'It is not appropriate to entertain soldiers while they are on duty,' Colonel Acra Tiprote told Reuters after a troupe of 10 women in tight camouflage vests and shorts posed with soldiers and tanks while making a music video."

In the news: A projector the size of a sugar cube ! ?

ScienceDaily: A Projector The Size Of A Sugar Cube: "No larger than a sugar cube, a new video projector is ready to use at all times."

Science - making the world a much more consultant-friendly place!

Kids say the darndest things!

"I really like autumn when the wind comes and makes clouds come out of my mouth."

- C (age five)

Those crazy Brits!

My Way News: "A large number of Britons would be prepared to give up sex if it meant they would live to be 100, according to a survey Friday."

Great lies in history...

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
- Bill Clinton

"It least I tried [to get Bin Laden]. I tried and failed."
- Bill Clinton

YouTube - Bill Clinton Freaks Out

As inspired as I was by his 2004 DNC speech, this really takes the cake. He's brilliant alright...but he's not honest.

Xan Shui,
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

Kids say the darndest things!

"Hey guess what! At school I get to hammer nails and stuff! And you don't because you have to work all the time."

- C (age five)

.

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, why are you just standing there? Jump around or do cartwheels or something."

- C (age five)

.

Young Conservative | Blogshares

Free Thinker Slaves in the top 100 conservative blogshares. Woo!

Young Conservative | Blogshares: "Top 100 Incoming Links

This is a list of the most valuable incoming links at the time OTHER blogs are indexed. It is indicative of FUTURE value not CURRENT value.

1. Part-Time Pundit (B$1,340.59)
2. Joe's Journal (B$443.10)
3. Pajama Jihad (B$431.27)
4. Apologies Demanded (B$287.23)
5. Hip Hop Republicans (B$256.98)
6. Conservative Rebel (B$236.25)
7. From the Bleachers (B$206.29)
8. The UrbaneR (B$187.08)
9. Condi for Prez (B$183.33)
10. Stix Blog (B$182.35)
11. The Neo Con Blogger(TM) (B$165.66)
12. Starting Over...Again (B$162.43)
13. Brain Shavings (B$137.64)
14. Imaginary Conversations and Random Thoughts (B$133.46)
15. Raging Right Wing Republican (B$128.85)
16. OKIE on the LAM - In LA (B$125.18)
17. Free Thinker Slaves (B$119.83)"

Wow - people actually read this!

Amy Ridenour's National Center Blog: Reviewing Anne Rice: "Free Thinker Slaves addresses Rice's essay at some length. A small excerpt:"

Catholic World News (CWN)

Text of the Pope's speech at the University of Regensburg, in which he quotes the writings of Byzantine emperor Manuel II Paleologus: "...he turns to his interlocutor somewhat brusquely with the central question on the relationship between religion and violence in general, in these words:

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

The emperor goes on to explain in detail the reasons why spreading the faith through violence is something unreasonable. Violence is incompatible with the nature of God and the nature of the soul.

"God is not pleased by blood, and not acting reasonably is contrary to God's nature. Faith is born of the soul, not the body. Whoever would lead someone to faith needs the ability to speak well and to reason properly, without violence and threats... To convince a reasonable soul, one does not need a strong arm, or weapons of any kind, or any other means of threatening a person with death...."

The decisive statement in this argument against violent conversion is this: not to act in accordance with reason is contrary to God's nature."

- Pope Benedict XVI

This is the power and weakness of the global electronic media that only the quoted text, and not the context, is spread around the world. I wonder how many will die because of this selective sensationalism?

Xan Shui,
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

Library List

The Yacoubian Building
by Alaa Al Aswany

Library List

Programming the Universe
by Seth Lloyd

Quotable Quotes

"When Franklin Roosevelt vowed to defeat two enemies across two oceans, he could not have foreseen D-Day and Iwo Jima. But, he would not have been surprised at the outcome."

- George W Bush, President of the United States

Final Analysis

OSU: 24
UT: 7

Case closed...

Hat tip for stealing my idea months before I had it :-), The Shadow

They only missed one...


Xan Shui,
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

Simply Unbelievable...

Great Lies in History:

May 17, 1933: "The German Government wish to settle all difficult questions with other Governments by peaceful methods . . . Germany will tread no other path than that laid down by the Treaties . . . The German people have no thought of invading any country."

Nov 10, 1933: "I am not crazy enough to want a war."

Aug 17, 1934: "The German Government, like the German people, are filled with the unconditional wish to make the greatest possible contribution to the preservation of peace in this world."

May 21, 1935: "Germany neither intends nor wishes to interfere in the internal affairs of Austria, to annex Austria, or to conclude an Anschluss [political union]"

Mar 15, 1936: "The German people do not wish to continue waging war to readjust frontiers. Each readjustment is bought by sacrifices out of proportion to what is to be gained."

Sep 26, 1938: "We have assured all our immediate neighbors of the integrity of their territory as far as Germany is concerned. That is no hollow phrase: it is our sacred will . . . The Sudetenland is the last territorial claim which I have to make in Europe . ."

Jan 1, 1939: "In general we have but one wish-- that in the coming years we may be able to make our contribution to this general pacification of the whole world."

Jan 30, 1939: "Only the war-mongers think there will be a war. I think there will be a long period of peace."

Apr 1, 1939: "(We) do not dream of attacking other nations, providing they leave us alone . . ."

- Adolph Hitler

Great Truths in History:

"What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. Is there anything of which one can say, "Look! This is something new"? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time. There is no remembrance of men of old, and even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow."

- Ecclesiastes 1:9-11 (NIV)

Xan Shui,
Philosophical Philanthropist, Honest Man

This is what will ultimately transform the middle east...

KRT Wire | 08/31/2006 | On the streets of Tehran, citizens fear becoming world pariah: "'Everyone's worried,' jeweler Bahram Mehraban said in his small Tehran storefront, contemplating the possibility of UN sanctions. 'Only the common people will be hurt. . . . All the important people here will have prepared and (will) still have a luxurious life.'"

Get the common people worried about having the latest SUV and the maniacs will have no sway.

Xan Shui
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

In the News...Lockheed Martin wins NASA "Moon" Contract

My Way News - Lockheed Martin Wins NASA Moon Contract: "If all goes well, the first test flight of Orion will be September 2014 and astronauts could return to the moon by late 2019 or 2020, NASA estimates."

Mark my words...we will not return men to the moon.

- Xan Shui
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, there's this girl in my three-year-old class who is really made to feel rejected."

- C, age 5, after her first day in Kindergarten

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "We're going to the store to get some bubblegum!"

Daddy: "Yeah, some bubblegum."

C: "And it's gonna be great big bubblegum!"

Daddy: "Yeah, great big bubblegum."

C: "HUGE bubblegum!"

Daddy: "Ha ha, yeah. HUGE bubblegum. The Hugest!"

C: "And it will NEVER lose its flavor!"

- C, age five after her first full day of kindergarten.

Alas, I am finally explained...

ScienceDaily: First 'Encyclopedia' Of Nuclear Receptors Reveals Organisms' Focus On Sex, Food: "Organisms thrive on sex and food, and so do their cells' receptors."

Funny, though, I don't write poems about USDA Prime...

Xan Shui,
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

All the hubbub about Careers and Marriage

Careers and Marriage - Forbes.com: "Guys: A word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career."

Ok, this article is brilliant in my opinion. First and foremost it did exactly what columns like this are supposed to do - get attention. So it was at least a journalistic success. Second, it is INTERESTING! What a courageous point of view to put in writing nowadays! Of course some are pissed. Growing up in this day and age they can't help but freak out when someone says something that isn't in the mainstream. And, like all FreeThinkerSlaves, they react with exactly what they are conditioned to think.

So anyway, enough rant. Here's my paraphrase of the message of this article in words that even FreeThinkerSlaves can probably accept:

"Don't marry a career woman - they might act just like you!"

Xan Shui,
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

Those crazy Austrians!

"Give me the money now and I'll hold you up later."

My Way News: "A would-be robber was arrested after he tried to hold up his local town hall, mistaking it for a bank, Austrian police said Wednesday."

Those crazy Muslims!

My Way News: "Islamic clerics in eastern India have ruled that a woman divorced by her husband in a fit of drunkenness can remarry him only after she takes another husband for one day, police said Monday."

Tomorrow is August 22. Are you ready?

The big day is tomorrow!

Armageddon is tomorrow. Nervous?

Xan Shui,
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

And now their failure is complete...

The goal of the attack on the World Trade Center was to strike at the heart of western capitalism and to destroy the US economy. The attack galvanized the US against radical Islam and led directly to the loss of power of the Taliban and a vastly increased US presence in the heart of the middle east. The economy recovered to become even stronger than it was prior to the attacks and now we use the very attack itself to fuel the multi-billion dollar movie industry.

World Trade Center a surprise hit!

Fools.

Xan Shui,
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

Kids say the darndest things!

"My gammaw likes me WAY too much!"

- C (last day of four)

Those crazy Chinese!

My Way News: "Stressed-out Chinese can now unleash pent-up anger at a bar that lets customers attack staff, smash glasses and generally make a ruckus"

Those crazy Germans!

A German scientist has been testing an "anti-stupidity" pill with encouraging results on mice and fruit flies, Bild newspaper reported Saturday.

My Way News

Kids say the darndest things!

Nanna: "Time to come out from the pool to rest, honey."

C: "Nanna, I can rest under water."

- C (age four)

OMFG!!!!!! You have to check this out!

Three wise men!

- Xan Shui
Philsophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

Kids say the darndest things!

"I do trust you but I just want to understand you."

- C 7/17/6

Those crazy Irish!

My Way News: "Two Irish men who stole a fishing trawler after missing their ferry had to be rescued off the British coast where they were going in circles because they did not know how to sail."

Dear World...

BREITBART.COM - North Korea Mocks International Criticism: "North Korea angrily mocked international criticism of its multiple missile tests, threatening on Thursday to fire off more rockets. In the face of nearly unanimous world condemnation of the seven missile tests on Wednesday, Pyongyang's foreign minister released a blustery statement declaring that it had the right to develop and test its weapons _ and vowing unspecified retaliation against anyone who tries to stop it."

Translation into English: "Dear world, due to the havoc wreaked upon our economy by our country's blind devotion to communist socialism, which you all tired of attempting to stop in the 50's, and due to the fact that our leader is a certified nincompoop with nearly as much a grasp on reality as Froggie the Flying Turd of Oaksbury, who lives in a shoebox and shits on the road, we have decided to threaten you with our decrepid set of firecrackers until you give us enough money to buy some of the rice we can't even make ourselves anymore. So pay up or we swear we shall taunt you a second time."

- Kim Ill

Thought for the day...

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

- Dr. Seuss

Weakness in strength...

My Way News - GIs Eyed in Alleged Rape, Murders in Iraq: "A group of American soldiers in an insurgent-riddled town allegedly noticed a young Iraqi woman when on patrol and later returned to rape her, according to U.S. officials Friday. In an apparent cover-up attempt, she and three members of her family then were killed and her body was set on fire."

This is why our military strength will not matter in the long run - human weakness.

Those crazy Chinese!

A Beijing soccer fan refused to let the small matter of his house burning down disturb him from his enjoyment of Tuesday's World Cup match between France and Spain.

St. Paul once again proved correct....

Defense Tech: Clowns Sabotage Nuke Missile: "Saint Paul said that we are “fools for God's sake,”"

In the news...

Daily Torture: China's Brutal Crackdown on Dissidents - International - SPIEGEL ONLINE - News: "China's Communist Party officials are employing brutal methods in dealing with difficult citizens. The most recent victim of what appears to be government-sanctioned brutality was a farmer who suffered a broken cervical vertebra when he was attacked by thugs."

In honor of Comfest 2006!

No nation is communist whose people have a choice.

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Angel or Devil?

Alive, just like a little song.
The end. It always comes along sometime.

I can laugh, I can cry, I'm an angel
(or a devil)
I can live, I can die, I'm an angel
(or a devil)
I can't tell.

And Oh! I'd like to understand
But that's just not the way it's planned.
And Oh! I'll never understand
On this side of the promised land.

Breathe and take it all in
The air and the poison. It just depends.

I can lose, I can find, I'm an angel
(or a devil)
I can see, I am blind, I'm an angel
(or a devil)
I can't tell.

And Oh! I'd like to understand
But that's just not the way it's planned.
And Oh! I'll never understand
On this side of the promised land.

And everyday as life goes on
I'm free to choose from what's really right or wrong
But if i'm free I only drag me down.

I am free, I am bound, I'm an angel
(or a devil)
I am lost, I am found, I'm an angel
(or a devil)
I can see, I am blind, I'm an angel
(or a devil)
I can die but I'm alive, I'm an angel

And Oh! I'll never understand
On this side of the promised land.
On this side of the promised land.
On this side of the promised land.

- The Jelly Jam

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy: "C, can you tell me what time it is?"

C (reading a digital clock): "It's one zero three zero dot com."

- C (age four) 06/24/2006

and she said...

choices.

i keep a bottle underneath my seat
for when i need to feel ok
i don't remember all the choices that i made last night
so it's not my fault.

that shit belongs in hell...
love is from heaven.

we disagreed so many, many years ago
but i remember everything you said
why should i forgive you for the choices that you made
i'll hold this grudge...i like it.

that shit belongs in hell...
love is from heaven.

you want to hurt her - make her feel your majesty
you want to make her what you need
why should you be subject to the choices that she makes?
she likes it.

that shit belongs in hell...
love is from heaven.

that shit belongs in hell...
love is from heaven.

that shit belongs in hell...
love is from heaven.

that shit belongs in hell...
love is from heaven.

that shit belongs in hell...
love is from heaven.

that shit belongs in hell...
love is from heaven.

that shit belongs in hell...
love is from heaven.

love is from heaven.
(we bring it here)
love is from heaven.
(we bring it here)
love is from heaven.
love is from heaven.
love is from heaven.
love is from heaven.
love is from heaven.

- jt.

Kids say the darndest things!

"Tulip isn't a good name for a kid because a kid is not a flower. A kid is a people-kind."

- C (age four) 6/19/2006

This is how conspiracy theories work...

Asia Times - Asia's most trusted news source for the Middle East: "Speaking off the record, intelligence community sources have previously said they believe it 'very likely' that al-Zarqawi is indeed long dead. Such a fact makes al-Zarqawi's alleged killing of Berg difficult to reconcile, and there has been broad speculation that blaming al-Zarqawi is an administration ploy. Further anomalies surrounding Berg's death have fueled added speculation. "

Check this article out. The author, speaking through the voice of "Asia's most trusted news source" no less, asserts the following:

1) al-Zarqawi was dead long before Nick Berg's murder.
Um...I guess you feel like an idiot now, right? Notice the phrase "such a fact makes"...someone anonymously suggests that they "believe" al-Zarqawi is dead and now it's a fact? Mark my words...now that this author has got the picture of al-Zarqawi's bombed corpse from the U.S. military he will not regard his death at the hands of a successful airstrike as "fact". No, really...mark them.

2) The Nick Berg beheading video was staged.
Apparently his (or her - equal rights for stupidity) point is that the terrorists were too humane to behead Nick Berg to death so they killed him some other way and then beheaded the dead body! Uh. Excuse my interrupting the pink elephants, but would someone tell me WHAT THE FUCK DIFFERENCE THAT MAKES?

The experts this author listens to have decided that there wasn't enough blood to suggest that he was beheaded alive. Excuse me, but when is the last time these "experts" beheaded someone alive? Seriously - the only people who are experts at the amount of blood a live beheading causes in this in this day and age are muslim extremists and ruthless dictators!

The final stupidity is the suggestion that it wasn't even terrorists who held him, but the U.S. military. Based apparently on an email by someone and the expectation that the type of chair they used was similar to those used by "the U.S. military", "in Abu Ghraib" no less.

Pure genius (and by genius, of course, I mean a moron of the first order).

- Xan Shui
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

Those crazy artists!

"One of Britain's most prestigious art galleries put a block of slate on display, topped by a small piece of wood, in the mistaken belief it was a work of art."

- The article

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Those crazy Germans!

PBS Previews | The Blitz: London's Longest Night: "On December 29th, 1940, the German Luftwaffe attacked London with devastating results - tens of thousands of incendiary bombs were dropped on the heart of the city. "

And all I hear is complaining about Dresden...Hitler gets no respect, ya know?

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If

Only if you want to.
Only if you have to.
Only if it's everything.
Only if you don't mind.

If I could move to the middle.
If I could go outside.
If I could give in a little,
And make it work this time.

It's one thing, insistance.
It's one thing, the distance.
I'll take it in prospect.
I'll take it anyway I can.

If I could move to the middle.
If I could go outside.
If I could give in a little,
And make it work this time.

If I could move to the middle.
If I could go outside (yeah).
If I could give in a little,
And make it work this time.

If...
If...
If...
And make it work this time.

- King's X
Ogre Tones

Buy it.

6:6:6 passeth

At 6:66am on 6/6/6, I was lying in bed thinking. My family safe & warm after a good night's sleep. To be fair, I had dreamt that I was on a canoing / camping trip where our guide was cooking bats for us that happened to look exactly like human foetuses...but I don't really think that was related.

At 6:66pm on 6/6/6, I was eating a hotdog with my wife & a friend during the turn at Blacklick Woods Golf Course. Our round was completely inconspicuous except for the fact that they had run out of regular size hotdogs and we had to eat the "large" ones, we drank one less beer than usual, and the group behind us hit into us twice during the round. It was almost as though we were, like, invisible...but I really don't that was related.

Well, 38 minutes to go and I've been waiting patiently. Maybe the armageddonists were wrong or something...

- Xan Shui, Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

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Those crazy Germans!

Still here in 60 seconds.

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, can you try to climb up yourself?"

- C (age four) 5/29/2006

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Kids say the darndest things!

C: "If they try to make me an astronaut I would be very angry."

Daddy: "I thought you wanted to be an astronaut."

C: "I do. I just don't want them to make me. I can make it by myself."

- C (age four) 5/29/2006

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...and sometimes kids don't say anything at all.

"The ethical storm over abortions has been renewed as it emerged that terminations are being carried out for minor, treatable birth defects.

Late terminations have been performed in recent years because the babies had club feet, official figures show.

Babies are being aborted with only minor defects.
Other babies were destroyed because they had webbed fingers or extra digits.

Such defects can often be corrected with a simple operation or physiotherapy. "

- Babies aborted for not being perfect | the Daily Mail

Kids say the darndest things!

"Kitty, do you wanna be an astronaut?"

- C (age four) 5/29/2006 while chasing the cat around the room with a toy rocket.

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Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy: "C, why are your eyes closed?"

C: "I'm trying to practice dreaming."

- C (age 4)
5/24/2006

Kids say the darndest things!

Mommy: "Do you like almonds?"

C: "Yes, I like almonds."

Daddy: "Really? Do you know what almonds are?"

C: "Yes, I do." Putting her hands together under her nose, "Dear God. Thank You for making the world for me to live on and all the wonderful stars for me to look at.....al-monds."

- C (age 4) 5/23/2006

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "Do you know that 'hate' is a bad word?"

Daddy: "So what's a good word?"

C: "That I don't like ice cream."

-C (age 4)
5/19/2006

Kids say the darndest things!

"No kittie, it's MY pot pie! ... What's a pot pie?"

- C (age 4)
5/14/2006

Kids say the darndest things!

"I didn't make that sound - a tree did."

- C (age four) wide-eyed after letting a stinker
5/6/2006

Kids say the darndest things!

"Ohhhh. Make sure you don't fall in that."

- C (age 4) looking at a zen water fountain
5/3/2006

At last! Free Thinker Slaves has 1,000,000,000 fans!!!

BREITBART.COM - One billion people have Internet access

And they say the South is full of racists!

South Carolina

Alabama

Ridiculous!

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Science: Dolphins know each others' names???

Dolphins ‘know each other’s names’ - Sunday Times - Times Online: "DOLPHINS may be closer to humans than previously realised, with new research showing they communicate by whistling out their own “names”.

The evidence suggests dolphins share the human ability to recognise themselves and other members of the same species as individuals with separate identities. The research, on wild bottlenose dolphins, will lead to a reassessment of their intelligence and social complexity, raising moral questions over how they should be treated."


There you have it, the smarter you are, the better we should treat you!

- Xan Shui, Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

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Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, does God have God in Him?"

- C 5/1/6 (age 4)