Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy: "Be careful you're going to..."

C: "I know. I'm going to fall down and hit my head on the grill and break my head open and die! Goodbye!"

- C (age 8)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I can see through invisible stuff!"

- C (age 8)

Kids say the darndest things!

"WowEow. I suction-cupped myself to the marshmallow!"

- C (age 8)

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "I'm an inventor."

Daddy: "Ok, what are you inventing?"

C: "I'm inventing a contraction."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, when I sleep my hair goes crazy. You're lucky that you don't have any hair."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"This is seriously funny!"

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Live is better than a tangled iPod!"

- C (age seven, proud owner of M's old iPod nano)

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "Daddy, what's an axy....er.....oxymoron?"

Daddy: "An oxymoron is like two words that commonly go together but kind of contradict each other. Hang on and I'll think of an example that you would understand."

C: "Oh. You mean like 'rubber-cement'?"

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

C and daddy walking down High St:

C: "Daddy, why is that man asking for money?"

Daddy: "Because some people don't have jobs and when they want money for something they have to ask other people."

C: "Why didn't we give him any then?"

Daddy: "Well, because if I just give him money, he might spend it on something other than getting help - like cigarettes or liquor."

C: "So no one can help him because he might be lying?"

Daddy: "Oh no. We can definitely help him - in fact we already have. I already gave a whole bunch of money this year to places that offer help to people who need it. So I know there are places he can go if he really needs help."

C: "Oh. You mean like a bank?"

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy: How many children will you have?

C: I am not going to have any children.

Daddy: Ok. That part is up to you.

C: Yep, the girls make all the decisions!

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Dear Daddy,

I love you so much and even when you die I know you will still be with me.

Love, C"

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"You know what I hate about rain? When it gets into your sandals. Then it looks, feels and sounds disgusting."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I'm not weird, I'm just a person who likes tasting weird things."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Dad, 'en Francais' means French in French."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Come on, evolve yourself! ! !"

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

Mommy to Daddy in the middle of a conversation: "You're just dangling a carrot out in front of me."

C: "I know what you're talking about and that's NOT a carrot!"

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I have everything I need! I have a disposable lunch, my toothbrush, my toothpaste, a change of clothes and my pajamas in my backback. I also have a "thank you" and a "your welcome" in my heart just in case."

- C (age seven) describing how ready she is for her sleepover with her friend tonight

Mom's say the darndest things!

"This is why bands shouldn't do covers. Because if you suck you can tell!"

-M (age 34) listening to a bad rock band playing for Race For The Cure right outside our condo complex.

Kids say the darndest things!

The Magnolia

The magnolia is a tree
That has beautiful flowers
On it and the flower smells
So sweet that I just want
To pick it.
But wait, if I pick this flower,
Then it would die
And I would not want that
To happen.

(C - age seven - to Mom for Mother's Day)

Kids say the darndest things!

"That's not a roar, that's a violent squeal!"

(C - age seven)