Kids say the darndest things!

"Father, a proper lady has a sword."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, I'm offending myself!"

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Oh I get it, insurance is another word for money!"

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I don't play music, I sing!"

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Is ice cream polite? Because ice cream you have to lick like a dog!"
- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I'm as hungry as a mountain eats clouds."

- C (age five)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I'm so tired of hearing ha ah wa wa ee ee ah ah leh ah ah me ne!"

- C (age five) listening to a Hawaiian radio station

Kids say the darndest things!

We took my youngest daughter C to Hawaii last year. She saw a beautiful bird sitting in a tree on one of our hikes and spoke to it:

"Excuse me, do you have a cousin named Pablo?"

- C (age five)

Kids say the darndest things!

C and I were walking back from Starbucks this morning after getting our morning coffee and breakfast. One of the slabs of cement that make up the sidewalk between Starbucks and home has been washed out and now moves when you step on it with an audible "clunk". So when I stepped on it today I looked down at her and said, "Weird".

Her reply: "That's not weird, dad, that's mysterious."

- C (age 6)

Kids say the darndest things!

"The rule of the beach is, never touch anything that is wiggling."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy (on observing C hard at work making something): "Wow. What are you making?"

C: "Whatever it turns out to be."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

My Mommy
- By C (age six, for mother's day)

I loved my mommy when she was young.
I love her so, she's lots of fun.
Even if she's very sad.
I still love her so she loves my daddy.
Even when I'm bad.
Just like my daddy.

Kids say the darndest things!

"Everybody has to love someone."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "What is the video game doing?"

Daddy: "It's updating."

C: "What does that mean?"

Daddy: "Sometimes the system needs new software and this is how it gets it. Don't worry about it - it's just how the system does it."

C: "Oh. Well, my way of updating is very much looking forward to dating someone someday."

Daddy: "Huh?"

C: "Don't worry about it. That's just how I do it."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

"You're so goofy you could explode the earth. Pshfewwww! See, that was you...you exploded the earth!"

- C (age six)

Clinton / Sagan?

Come to think of it, I never did see Hillary Rodham Clinton and Carl Sagan in the same room...

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, what if I was a chocolate covered grasshopper? I mean, hopping, hopping, baking, hot, hot, swimming in chocolate, eaten, hurts!! "

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy: "My brain doesn't work very good sometimes."

C: "Go see the doctor and she'll tell you what's wrong with you."

C: "And, by the way, patients rhymes with patience!"

- C (age six)

And the master said...

"If ever there was a city designed to distract us from our troubles, it would be Paris."

- Thomas Jefferson

Kids say the darndest things!

"Wow! It's so warm out here that all I need to go outside is nothing!"

- C (age six)