Kids say the darndest things!

"Excuse me. My hands are sweaty and the gun just fell on my toe."

- C (age seven) during a hot nurf gun firefight

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy: "That mom sure is pretty smart isn't she?"

C: "Yes, she's a LOT smarter than I used to be."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I know how to work at a job, Daddy. You just type stuff into a computer and then you get money."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things...

Daddy to Mommy: "Well, I think our best hope for the possibility that our child has no vices is that you secretly had her fathered by another man."

Mommy: Hmmm.

C (age seven): "Daddy, I don't really think that's a very good sentence....because I don't understand a word you just said."

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, did you know that ten 10's is equal to 100 and one hundred 10's is equal to 1000? I just figured that second part out using my fingers."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

At a Halloween party:

C (age seven): "Daddy, look! An angel and a devil!"

Daddy: "Cool! Which one do you like better?"

C: "I like the devil best."

Kids say the darndest things!

"Father, a proper lady has a sword."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, I'm offending myself!"

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Oh I get it, insurance is another word for money!"

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I don't play music, I sing!"

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Is ice cream polite? Because ice cream you have to lick like a dog!"
- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I'm as hungry as a mountain eats clouds."

- C (age five)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I'm so tired of hearing ha ah wa wa ee ee ah ah leh ah ah me ne!"

- C (age five) listening to a Hawaiian radio station

Kids say the darndest things!

We took my youngest daughter C to Hawaii last year. She saw a beautiful bird sitting in a tree on one of our hikes and spoke to it:

"Excuse me, do you have a cousin named Pablo?"

- C (age five)

Kids say the darndest things!

C and I were walking back from Starbucks this morning after getting our morning coffee and breakfast. One of the slabs of cement that make up the sidewalk between Starbucks and home has been washed out and now moves when you step on it with an audible "clunk". So when I stepped on it today I looked down at her and said, "Weird".

Her reply: "That's not weird, dad, that's mysterious."

- C (age 6)

Kids say the darndest things!

"The rule of the beach is, never touch anything that is wiggling."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy (on observing C hard at work making something): "Wow. What are you making?"

C: "Whatever it turns out to be."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

My Mommy
- By C (age six, for mother's day)

I loved my mommy when she was young.
I love her so, she's lots of fun.
Even if she's very sad.
I still love her so she loves my daddy.
Even when I'm bad.
Just like my daddy.

Kids say the darndest things!

"Everybody has to love someone."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "What is the video game doing?"

Daddy: "It's updating."

C: "What does that mean?"

Daddy: "Sometimes the system needs new software and this is how it gets it. Don't worry about it - it's just how the system does it."

C: "Oh. Well, my way of updating is very much looking forward to dating someone someday."

Daddy: "Huh?"

C: "Don't worry about it. That's just how I do it."

- C (age six)