Kids say the darndest things!

"I have the nicest dad in the galaxy and the meanest dad on the block!"

- C (age nine)

Kids say the darndest things!

As a father and a man, I have been known to occasionally "let one go". Today, I did so in a particularly quiet room with my youngest daughter present.

Daddy: "Oops, sorry."

C: "That's ok, Dad."

Daddy: "You are becoming a very compassionate young lady and I'm proud of you."

C: "What does 'compassionate' mean?

Daddy: "It means you forgive people their faults."

C: "Did you just say, 'forgive people their farts'?

- C (age nine)

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "Hey Dad, guess what?"

Dad: "What?"

C: "Today I started reading ARAGON. It's a book about THIS thick! (holding her hands about four inches apart, emphasis hers)

Dad: "Wow. I'm very proud of you."

C: "Well, I'm still on page two."

- C (age nine)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Ahem, I just coughed up my brain."

- C (age nine, talking in her sleep)

Kids say the darndest things!

Dad (handing her a chocolate): "What does this taste like?"

C (chewing thoughtfully): "It tastes like a rose smells."

- C (age eight)

Kids say the darndest things!

C (at the playground): "Daddy will you swing with me?"

Dad: "Sure."

C (after a short while swinging with Dad): "Dad, it's a swing set not a rocking chair!"

- C (age eight)

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "Dad, I'm gonna be an astronaut. If you're still alive when I get a job will you go to the moon with me?"

Dad (spontaneously crying): "Yes."



- C (age eight)

My daughters fill my life.

Kids say the darndest things!

"I have an idea and I'm not afraid to use it!"

- C (age eight)

Kids say the darndest things!

Dad: "What do you think of Seattle?"

C: "It's cool. No really. It's cold actually! When I get home again I am SO going to be SO warm!"

- C (age eight)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I'm gonna pass out if I don't fall asleep soon."

- C (age eight)

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "Kitty winked at me!"

Dad: "Really?"

C: "Yes, but Mommy says I shouldn't anth-something-morphize things."

Dad: "Anthropomorphize?"

C: "Yes, that's it. Kitty doesn't know human emotions."

Dad: "You're right."

C: "But she does understand kitty emotions."

Dad: "You're right."

- C (age eight)

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "I hate change."

Dad: "Everything changes."

C: "Yeah. For instance, clocks. They definitely change."

- C (age eight)

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "That spider is smart."

Dad: "That spider is about as smart as your elbow."

C: "But my elbow knows everything!"

- C (age eight)

Kids say the darndest things!

Dad: "What do you think of this painting?"

C: "For a musician, it's not bad."

- C (age eight)

Kids say the darndest things!

C (watching Sherlock Holmes): "This is like 'Around the World in 80 Days'. See, everyone is checking their watches and the servant has jaggety hair."

- C (age eight)

Kids say the darndest things!

C (watching Sherlock Holmes): "This is like 'Around the World in 80 Days'. See, everyone is checking their watches and the servant has jaggety hair."

- C (age eight)

Kids say the darndest things!

C (turning the crank to roll down the non-electric window in our rental car): "Oh! So THAT's why they call it 'rolling down your window'!"

Kids say the darndest things!

M (playing a game of pool with C): "Are you solids?"

C: "Yes, and you are liquids. And Dad is a gas."

-C (age eight)

Kids say the darndest things!

C (proudly holding up a kazoo to which she has affixed a balloon): "Hi Dad. I've invented a new instrument. It's called a 'suck & blow'."

Dad: "Hmm. Do you think we could find another name for it?"

C: "Yeah, it's for my stuffed animals. They need an instrument like this because they don't have lungs. It's also really good for scaring the cat."

- C (age eight)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I know most of the people in history, like Vincent van Gogh, Mozart, ... and the other people."

- C (age eight)