Monday, January 29, 2007

Kitty Washing Machine

Life it feels better down where it's wetter take it from me!

(Ignore the error message, just click on the video again to go to youtube and view it.)

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Kids say the darndest things!

"There's no such thing as a 'master'."

- C (age five)


Kids say the darndest things!

C: "Daddy, when I grow up I want to be a jaguar."

Daddy: "Well, then you'd have to eat animals raw."

C: "What does that mean - raw?"

Daddy: "Well, it means you have to catch an animal, then kill it with your teeth, then tear it open and eat it without cooking it."

C: "Oh....COOL!"

- C (age five)

Friday, January 19, 2007

The world catches up...

They finally realized...

And a more direct reference to the impact's impact on orbital debris from ABC news from February 2.


A couple of wiseguys stole a cache of what they thought were mobile phones. Turns out they were GPS devices which led police right to their home!

Wise indeed.

Do as I say not as I do...

Looks like the Chinese have decided to show us just how vulnerable our testicles are. When there's nothing but loose bolts and smithereens floating above us in 16,000 mph freefall and we realize that we've just imprisoned ourselves on this planet for the next hundred thousand years or so because there is no longer a safe path into space, I wonder if anyone will write about how incredibly brilliant human beings are.

Chinese destroy satellite

Why can't they just leave us alone?

Why do they have to count things? Takes all the fun out of it. All we want is to sit back on our recliner, drink beer and feel superior to that so wrong?

Article: Women are better drivers than men

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Kids say the darndest things!

"You can only try to think of an idea for so long before you must say there is a lack of one."

- S, age 14

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Let there be bass

In the beginning there was a bass. It was a Fender, probably a Precision, but it could have been a Jazz - nobody knows. Anyway, it was very old ... definitely pre-C.B.S.

And God looked down upon it and saw that it was good. He saw that it was very good in fact, and couldn't be improved on at all (though men would later try.) And so He let it be and He created a man to play the bass.

And lo the man looked upon the bass, which was a beautiful 'sunburst', and he loved it. He played upon the open E string and the note rang through the earth and reverberated throughout the firmaments (thus reverb came to be.) And it was good. And God heard that it was good and He smiled at his handiwork.

Then in the course of time, the man came to slap upon the bass. And lo it was funky.

And God heard this funkiness and He said, "Go man, go." And it was good.

And more time passed, and, having little else to do, the man came to practice upon the bass. And lo, the man came to have upon him a great set of chops. And he did play faster and faster until the notes rippled like a breeze through the heavens.

And God heard this sound which sounded something like the wind, which He had created earlier. It also sounded something like the movement of furniture, which He hadn't even created yet, and He was not so pleased. And He spoke to the man, saying "Don't do that!"

Now the man heard the voice of God, but he was so excited about his new ability that he slapped upon the bass a blizzard of funky notes. And the heavens shook with the sound, and the Angels ran about in confusion. (Some of the Angels started to dance, but that's another story.)

And God heard this - how could He miss it - and lo He became Bugged. And He spoke to the man, and He said, "Listen man, if I wanted Jimi Hendrix I would have created the guitar. Stick to the bass parts."

And the man heard the voice of God, and he knew not to mess with it. But now he had upon him a passion for playing fast and high. The man took the frets off of the bass which God had created. And the man did slide his fingers upon the fretless fingerboard and play melodies high upon the neck. And, in his excitement, the man did forget the commandment of the Lord, and he played a frenzy of high melodies and blindingly fast licks. And the heavens rocked with the assault and the earth shook, rattled and rolled.

Now God's wrath was great. And His voice was thunder as He spoke to the man.

And He said, "O.K. for you, pal. You have not heeded My word. Lo, I shall create a soprano saxophone and it shall play higher than you can even think of."

"And from out of the chaos I shall bring forth the drums. And they shall play so many notes thine head shall ache, and I shall make you to always stand next to the drummer."

"You think you're loud? I shall create a stack of Marshall guitar amps to make thine ears bleed. And I shall send down upon the earth other instruments, and lo, they shall all be able to play higher and faster than the bass."

"And for all the days of man, your curse shall be this; that all the other musicians shall look to you, the bass player, for the low notes. And if you play too high or fast all the other musicians shall say "Wow" but really they shall hate it. And they shall tell you you're ready for your solo career, and find other bass players for their bands. And for all your days if you want to play your fancy licks you shall have to sneak them in like a thief in the night."

"And if you finally do get to play a solo, everyone shall leave the bandstand and go to the bar for a drink."

And it was so.

- Unknown


Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Monday, January 08, 2007

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy: What would you do if you had a pet elephant?

C: Leave it outside.

- C, age five


Sunday, January 07, 2007

Sister Moon...

"My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun.
My hunger for her explains everything I've done.
To howl at the moon the whole night through...
and they really don't care if I do.
I'd go out of my mind but for you."

- from Sister Moon, Sting

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


Have you ever seen a miracle - you couldn't doubt or imitate?
What's it really worth to you to shake the holy hand of fate?
Well I did what I could to make ends meet
Been a gunrunner and a medicine man.
In a Kansas town I was a rainmaker - there the hand of fate got out of hand.

Rainmaker Rainmaker save this one horse town
Rainmaker pray to heaven!

From the Flint Hills the land was cracked and dried
Thirsty streets in misery
I took the sign down that said medicine man
Put one up that said rainmaker - that was me.
So the townspeople gave me money up front
To light a fire - pray, and dance around.
Tell them it'd rain so they'd all go to bed
And I'd make my break clean out of town.
But I started this dance and a storm kicked up
The sky went black from coast to coast.
It was too late to stop - it was to late to pray
I had summoned down the Holy Ghost.
Oh the searing wind and the clouds of dust
And hell came raining down!
What came out of me and the powers that be
Was the last of that one horse town!

- Kansas, In the Spirit of Things