Kids say the darndest things!

C:  "Does Tim Burton only like dead stuff that is scary?"

Dad:  "Yep, that's pretty much the limit of his imagination.  He's an unfortunate soul isn't he?"

C:  "No.  It's cool!" 

- C (age ten)

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "Dad, did you ever have first communion?"

Dad: "Yes.  When I was young.  Why. Do you want to have first communion?"

C: "Yes."

Dad:  "Ok, why?"

C: "Because I'm curious what the bread tastes like."

- C (age ten)

Kids say the darndest things!

Dad:  "Hey, C, pull my finger."

C: "I can dislocate your finger if you want, but I'm not going to pull it."

- C (age ten)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Dad, I need you to understand that when I try really hard at something and then you and Mom say that even though it's very good I could do better, and then when I try harder and actually DO do better you still tell me it's not quite right - well, when that happens I have a mental reflex that IMMEDIATELY makes me try to defend myself. I think that's why I sometimes make you guys angry and that's not what I'm trying to do."

 - C (age ten, emphasis HERS)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Dad, I found a better way to cut the cheese if you're interested."

- C (cutting cheddar on the cheese board, age 10)

Kids say the darndest things!

Dad: "Do you know the show 'Lassie'?"

C: "Yeah but I don't like it very much. It's too predictable because they foreshadow WAY too much."

- C (age ten)

Kids say the darndest things!

Mom: "Would you rather be preppy or nerdy?"

C: "Nerdy but with cool clothes."

- C (age ten)

Kids say the darndet things!

"Let me guess. This is the one where we read everything they speak and the Chinese people can fly, right?"

- C (age 10)

Kids say the darndest things!

C, watching a Kansas video with dad, pointing to violinist Robby Steinhardt...

"That looks like Hagrid!"

- C (age 10)

And the master said...

"All has turned to vain ambition. He would even use his grief as a cloak."

- Gandalf the White

Kids say the darndest things!

"Dad, you're just like my math teacher - she hates chaos too."

- C (age nine)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I think I know where I want to work when I grow up. Either an engineering place or a spa."

- C (age nine)

Google says the darndest things!

Google translator:

English "The way of the intercepting kiss" to Chinese (simplified) is "拦截亲吻的方式"

Chinese "拦截亲吻的方式" to English is "Blocking the way to kiss".

Maybe this is why there is war?

Kids say the darndest things!

"I think I have a good recipe for a burrito in my head."

- C (eating pancakes)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Survival isn't a game it's just something you have to do."

C (age nine)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Dad, do you WANT me to shred you into little tiny blivions?"

- C (age nine)

Kids say the darndest things!

"My dad is a tom-girl."

- C (age nine)

...doesn't wish to reach 10 obviously... :)

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "So who won the poker game last night, Dad?"

Dad: "I was victorious!"

C: "Really? That's awesome, Dad. Usually it's Brad that wins."

- C (age nine)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Dad, is it opposite day? Because if it is you are saying exactly the right thing."

- C (age nine)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Hey Dad. Did you ever have that feeling where you think someone has a crush on you so you kinda want to show 'em what you got?"

- C (age nine)

I'm doomed.

Kids say the darndest things!

"Dad, did you know that everything is music? Except that sometimes it's just really really out of tune."

- C (age nine)

Kids say the darndest things!

Dad: "What is that a picture of?"

C: "It's Medusa."

Dad: "Oh. I thought it was a girl with dreadlocks."

C: "No, it's Medusa. It's just that all her snakes but one have feinted."

- C (age nine)

Kids say the darndest things!

Dad: "Maybe you should be a professor when you grow up. I think you'd make a good teacher."

C: "I'd be a violent teacher, Dad."

- C (age nine)

Kids say the darndest things!

Conversation between my daughter C and I while listening to the 2nd movement of Eine Kleine Nachtmusik:

C: "Dad, you look like you're pushing imaginary buttons in the air."

Dad: "Yes, I'm listening to the countermelodies and moving my hands to them. Mozart was a musical genius."

C looks puzzled.

Dad: "A musical genius is one who creates music that really moves you deep inside and can do it more naturally than other people. Kind of like Lisa Bella Donna."

C: "Oh. Yes. But I think Lisa is a bit better though. I mean, she doesn't control a whole symphony and she's not as famous, but she also doesn't need to be famous to be happy. That's what I like about her."

- C (age nine)

Love Hurts!

My wife and I work at the same company and commute together. I often tease her about being slow. this morning is no exception.

Me: "Would you please hurry up? I'm usually of a mind to forego the pleasure of killing to maintain the general good humor, but today I am not so disposed."

Her: "That's ok. I can dispose of you easily."

Kids say the darndest things!

"Dude, that looks totally movie generated. It doesn't even look kind of real! It's like it's trying to dance or something!"

- C (age nine) watching the end stop-motion sequence of Terminator.