Kids say the darndest things!

"There is no such thing as a person that is not a creature. So be nice to everyone."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"It's time to open presents! ! ! Everyone goes first! ! !"

C - age seven

Kids say the darndest things...

"Daddy, if you want to get married but don't want to have a baby, how do you do that?"

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Excuse me. My hands are sweaty and the gun just fell on my toe."

- C (age seven) during a hot nurf gun firefight

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy: "That mom sure is pretty smart isn't she?"

C: "Yes, she's a LOT smarter than I used to be."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I know how to work at a job, Daddy. You just type stuff into a computer and then you get money."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things...

Daddy to Mommy: "Well, I think our best hope for the possibility that our child has no vices is that you secretly had her fathered by another man."

Mommy: Hmmm.

C (age seven): "Daddy, I don't really think that's a very good sentence....because I don't understand a word you just said."

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, did you know that ten 10's is equal to 100 and one hundred 10's is equal to 1000? I just figured that second part out using my fingers."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

At a Halloween party:

C (age seven): "Daddy, look! An angel and a devil!"

Daddy: "Cool! Which one do you like better?"

C: "I like the devil best."

Kids say the darndest things!

"Father, a proper lady has a sword."

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, I'm offending myself!"

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Oh I get it, insurance is another word for money!"

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I don't play music, I sing!"

- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Is ice cream polite? Because ice cream you have to lick like a dog!"
- C (age seven)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I'm as hungry as a mountain eats clouds."

- C (age five)

Kids say the darndest things!

"I'm so tired of hearing ha ah wa wa ee ee ah ah leh ah ah me ne!"

- C (age five) listening to a Hawaiian radio station

Kids say the darndest things!

We took my youngest daughter C to Hawaii last year. She saw a beautiful bird sitting in a tree on one of our hikes and spoke to it:

"Excuse me, do you have a cousin named Pablo?"

- C (age five)

Kids say the darndest things!

C and I were walking back from Starbucks this morning after getting our morning coffee and breakfast. One of the slabs of cement that make up the sidewalk between Starbucks and home has been washed out and now moves when you step on it with an audible "clunk". So when I stepped on it today I looked down at her and said, "Weird".

Her reply: "That's not weird, dad, that's mysterious."

- C (age 6)

Kids say the darndest things!

"The rule of the beach is, never touch anything that is wiggling."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy (on observing C hard at work making something): "Wow. What are you making?"

C: "Whatever it turns out to be."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

My Mommy
- By C (age six, for mother's day)

I loved my mommy when she was young.
I love her so, she's lots of fun.
Even if she's very sad.
I still love her so she loves my daddy.
Even when I'm bad.
Just like my daddy.

Kids say the darndest things!

"Everybody has to love someone."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

C: "What is the video game doing?"

Daddy: "It's updating."

C: "What does that mean?"

Daddy: "Sometimes the system needs new software and this is how it gets it. Don't worry about it - it's just how the system does it."

C: "Oh. Well, my way of updating is very much looking forward to dating someone someday."

Daddy: "Huh?"

C: "Don't worry about it. That's just how I do it."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

"You're so goofy you could explode the earth. Pshfewwww! See, that was you...you exploded the earth!"

- C (age six)

Clinton / Sagan?

Come to think of it, I never did see Hillary Rodham Clinton and Carl Sagan in the same room...

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, what if I was a chocolate covered grasshopper? I mean, hopping, hopping, baking, hot, hot, swimming in chocolate, eaten, hurts!! "

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

Daddy: "My brain doesn't work very good sometimes."

C: "Go see the doctor and she'll tell you what's wrong with you."

C: "And, by the way, patients rhymes with patience!"

- C (age six)

And the master said...

"If ever there was a city designed to distract us from our troubles, it would be Paris."

- Thomas Jefferson

Kids say the darndest things!

"Wow! It's so warm out here that all I need to go outside is nothing!"

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Daddy, did you know that there's very little gravity on the moon and that means that when you jump you go up much higher and stay up longer. So, that means you can jump up and do poses before you come back down just like Pocahontas does."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

C, holding up a small sundial-shaped device she has made from construction paper:

"Daddy, this is the new game I made. This is the spinner and whoever is up gets to spin it. And if this big giant pointy part points to someone, then they get to sprinkle the magic dust and then we all have a party. Then you clean up the party, clean up the magic dust, put it back into the thing and then we do it all again...

It's a very big game."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

C, holding up a five foot long paper snake that she had made:

"Daddy, this is my new pet. It's an anaconda that can turn into a king cobra when it wants to strike. And she's very nervous..."

- C (age six)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Oh. That's kind of like 'cheating magic'."

- C, (age 6) upon daddy showing her a magic trick purchased from a magic show.

Kids say the darndest things!

"'Syllables' has three syllables."

- C (age 6)

Kids say the darndest things!

"Wow! Clouds are made by trains! Look!"

- C, age six

Kids say the darndest things!

Watching the desert town battle scene in the movie Transformers:

"Wow! All the people in the whole beach are here to fight the dragon Transformer!"

- C, age six