Monday, June 19, 2006

This is how conspiracy theories work...

Asia Times - Asia's most trusted news source for the Middle East: "Speaking off the record, intelligence community sources have previously said they believe it 'very likely' that al-Zarqawi is indeed long dead. Such a fact makes al-Zarqawi's alleged killing of Berg difficult to reconcile, and there has been broad speculation that blaming al-Zarqawi is an administration ploy. Further anomalies surrounding Berg's death have fueled added speculation. "

Check this article out. The author, speaking through the voice of "Asia's most trusted news source" no less, asserts the following:

1) al-Zarqawi was dead long before Nick Berg's murder.
Um...I guess you feel like an idiot now, right? Notice the phrase "such a fact makes"...someone anonymously suggests that they "believe" al-Zarqawi is dead and now it's a fact? Mark my that this author has got the picture of al-Zarqawi's bombed corpse from the U.S. military he will not regard his death at the hands of a successful airstrike as "fact". No, really...mark them.

2) The Nick Berg beheading video was staged.
Apparently his (or her - equal rights for stupidity) point is that the terrorists were too humane to behead Nick Berg to death so they killed him some other way and then beheaded the dead body! Uh. Excuse my interrupting the pink elephants, but would someone tell me WHAT THE FUCK DIFFERENCE THAT MAKES?

The experts this author listens to have decided that there wasn't enough blood to suggest that he was beheaded alive. Excuse me, but when is the last time these "experts" beheaded someone alive? Seriously - the only people who are experts at the amount of blood a live beheading causes in this in this day and age are muslim extremists and ruthless dictators!

The final stupidity is the suggestion that it wasn't even terrorists who held him, but the U.S. military. Based apparently on an email by someone and the expectation that the type of chair they used was similar to those used by "the U.S. military", "in Abu Ghraib" no less.

Pure genius (and by genius, of course, I mean a moron of the first order).

- Xan Shui
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

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