Her: "Hey, why can't I play poker with you and the boys?"
Me: "Because you don't know how to play."
Her: "Then why don't you teach me?"
Me: "Because if I try to teach you, you will hurt me."
Her: "Oh, you're silly. Just teach me."
Me: "Ok, we'll each put $150 in that bowl and count out the chips in denominations of $10, $5 and $1. Let's start at the beginning. Poker is not a game of luck it is a game of skill, deceit and intimidation...a lot like marriage, right? Ha ha, just kidding. Oh shit."
I woke up attempting to digest $300 in poker chips and with a freezer full of Jeni's ice cream.