My buddy told me that the best way to deal with a woman is to always answer their questions with a question.
Her: "Honey, would you like to take the garbage out?"
Me: "Do you mean today or tomorrow?"
Her: "I mean right now."
Me: "Uh, could you please put that in the form of a question?
Her: "Sure. Ground or pureed?"
I woke up a week later with a sympathy card from my buddy sitting on the nightstand next to a small bowl of warm pudding.